And I miss you

7 long months...What a feat!!

I miss you the most when I need someone to wake me up...flip the blinds and let some light in...honey I hate waking up alone

I miss you the most when I have to check the mailbox ..the walk to the mailbox where we used to unwind the day's stress... honey I hate walking that mile alone

I miss you the most when I have to organize the groceries in the refrigerator..the pleasure of watching you organize everything...honey I hate arranging things alone

I miss you the most when I look at our old apartment and the patio where we used to have tea together...and often stand there still looking at the sunset...honey I hate having tea alone

I miss you the most when I have to get water can filled from the vending machine..how you used to carry the 2 gallon jar and also listen me blabber the whole time...honey I hate going to the vending machine alone

I miss you the most when I cook...watching you cook within the record time and coming up with the best taste bud pleasing food...honey I hate cooking for me alone

I miss you the most when I finish office....going to an empty home looking at our pictures in our room beat the crap out of me...honey I hate calling my apt ..my home



And I miss you!!!!!

Being Stupid!!

This part of my life is called "Being Stupid", 2 years in a row. Now that's called BUMMER

Escape

There are days when all I think of is ESCAPE... escape from my work, escape from my family, escape from my friends, escape from my monotonous life...I feel like cutting strings just to find myself.."Who the Fuck am I" Am I forced to live this life or I choose to live this life..that's the big question on mind? I try to meditate everydays, it helps, it provides clarity...but my life pulls me back with all the problems gushing at me...I try to find my way often getting lost, often gasping for air, often trying to sail through... I am trying to grow ..I am growing...I need to grow more..All I need is some encouragement and pat on my back " Dude, you are doing gud, just hang on there" This is me with my confused state of mind.." Tough times don't last, tough people do" WTF