Sunday, January 31, 2016

Trying to find me before its too late

I am mom to a 2.5 year old and been a wife for almost 8 years now. I have had a great run so far but last few years, I have felt I lost, its not a particular moment but that feeling has lasted few years now. For me not having a sense of purpose in life is a big deal. Of course I have had moments when I have felt that I have a vision, I am marching towards it but alas that feeling never last for few days in a row. However until recently, I would say almost 2 months back, I feel like there has been a divine interference. Not trying to overstate things but I really feel that way. We have recently moved from Singapore to Seattle, its only been 3 months. I was perceiving this to be a huge change for several reasons. Firstly I loved Singapore, my job and my life. Had a full time helper meant I had a lot of time for myself, I could meet my family over a short flight and I was looking forward to starting my 2nd Post graduate degree at SMU however destiny had something else stored and we moved to Seattle end of Oct last year. With all the apprehensions , I was trying to gather myself to start a new life here , biggest change was sending my daughter to full 9 hours day care and getting hold of a new job. However  something happened around mid Dec , I felt like I listened to my calling. I just  made a simple change in my life and that was mediating was few minutes every night before I go to sleep. Meditation is bestowed to me by Mom and I should write another blog on that. I am so happy with all the positive changes that this simple thing has brought in my life. For starters, I feel energetic during the day and carry on my work life late in the night. It has become cyclic, since I am able to manage my work well , that brings a state of well being for me and motivates me further to not break the cycle of meditation. But more importantly, the constant dialogue of who am I and what defines me, my sense of purpose in life has become very clear. I don't have the answers to my true calling but , I feel I have set myself on the path where I will find the answer and I will follow my passion.